Sex discrimination in the East

Trouble's a-brewing in China. Good for you culturally that your one government-sanctioned child is male. But who is he gonna marry in a few years?

Maybe you can hope your six-year-old son is gay. Just sayin.'

I'll say this about your jockeys

Mine is not a political blog. But the LDS underwear. . . I don't know. It makes me giggle, OK?

It is no more or less ludicrous than the Bible-thumping evangelical beliefs that I grew up with (Virgin birth of Jesus, prohibition of lewd dancing, belief that musical instruments in church will send you to hell).

But come on, folks. God decides and dictates the kind of panties you wear and how and when you wear them? That shit's funny, I don't care if you are a hardcore Church of Christ-er with the requisite number of similarly asinine customs.

THAT is a dunk

From an NBA game last night.

Involuntary crotch grab

So the commonwealth of Virginia is throwing up roadblocks for women who seek abortions. Our heroine of the week slapped the shoe on the other foot for a little while.

State legislator Janet Howell attached an amendment to the above bill that requires men wanting treatment for erectile dysfunction to have a digital rectal exam and a cardiac stress test first.

The amendment failed. But hey, made you think a minute, didn't she, boys? Now get back to your manly oversight of our lady flowers.

It gets better

A blogger in the New Yorker outlines the progress toward public acknowledgment of full citizenship for gay Americans.

Excerpt: The Gallup Poll shows that seventy per cent of people between eighteen and thirty-four years old favor gay marriage. The tide of history and public opinion has turned decisively.

Phone home

A film critic ranks Spielberg's films. Agree on "ET." But I call bullshit about "The Color Purple" verdict. Perhaps you need to have a second  X chromosome to appreciate the saga of Celie, Shug and Mister. (Or perhaps be male and light in your loafers. I went to see TCP  with a gay man friend and I almost had to call the paramedics, he got so emotionally moved at the movie's ending).

Sophia, Sophia, that sure is a pretty name.

Shout out to my Squeak, out there singing somewhere.

The language of the American West

In the rural West, you often hear a modern-day grocery store called a "mercantile" or sometimes just a "merc."

My reaction the first time I heard that: Are we in an episode of "Little House on the Prairie"?

Going to Salt Lake City

Packed my magic underwear and off to Utah for the weekend.

More on Monday, sports fans.

ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS

Go waste/enjoy an hour.

WOULD IT KILL THEM TO JUST PUT AN IKEA DOWNTOWN?

Hook me up

Seven "drugs" that are legal. I'm too much of a dweeb to ever understand bath salts as an altering agent.

Probably genetic. My grandmas consistently lumped all illicit substances into one term. As in, "I reckon he stays hopped up on that old dope all day long."

Women be wise

There's not an American adult female who doesn't know the clothing size system--if you can call it that-- is arbitrary and insane.

I can wear size 8, 10, 12, or 14--depending on the clothing manufacturer. One rule of thumb women also know--the pricier the brand, the smaller your size. So if you're concerned you're too big, wear designer labels to pretend otherwise.

Reminds me of the Dolly Parton character's answer in "Steel Magnolias" when asked her shoe size: "I wear a 6, but a 7 feels so good I buy an 8."

Blues name generator

Go ahead. You know you want to.

Mine is Big Bad Boy Davis. Sounds about right.

I reckon

A British girl eats nothing but Chicken McNuggets for 15 years. Here's what she said after collapsing.

"I am starting to realize this is very bad for me."

The language of the American South

Found on a political web post:

“'I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that’s the America millions of Americans believe in. That’s the America I love.”

Do what? (That’s Southern for what the hell?)

I like to add "now" for emphasis, speaking the words rapidly to further highlight the WTF-edness:

Dowhatnow??

EW's butt-kicking movie babes

I'm old school. Love me some Sigourney Weaver kicking alien ass. 

But I might put money against her on the gal below.

Of bootleggers and butter whores

Southerners are better at cognitive dissonance.

Yankees are shocked, shocked I say! that someone with diabetes and a tee-vee show would advocate lifestyle choices that will surely send her and many others to an early grave.

The first thought of many Southerners (including me) when they heard Paula Deen had "the sugar" was to wonder how many, if any, sweets she eats now.

This, after all, is the region that gave us moonshine-running Baptist preachers. My great grandpa was one, and the reaction from most Southerners when they hear that is to shrug shoulders and say, "Well, he had a lot of kids to feed."

Should homeless shelters allow alcohol?

A thought-provoking article.

Gabby goes home

If you don't admire this woman for her moxie--regardless of your politics--you are a cyborg.

What's your point?

So her publicist says Paula Deen is a hypocrite and opportunist for pushing lard-laden, corn-syrup-rich recipes while secretly having diabetes? Good on her for taking a stand and putting her money where her mouth is.

But seriously, there are adults (Deen's target age group for her show) who didn't realize that eating sticks of butter coated with caramel might predispose them to serious disease?

Grow up, people.

Here's a blog of Paula Deen riding things. Huzzah, y'all.

Sign your name

Apparently the personal signature is being replaced by the almighty PIN. Good riddance, I say. My signature is a frankensteinian mish-mash of cursive and printed letters. Eccentric and often unreadable. Wait, does that describe my personality generally?

Anyway. For all you girls and boys who came of age in the 1980s, here's some Terence Trent D'Arby.

Well

Sign #132 that you've shot way past the therapeutic level of your medicinal marijuana:

For lunch, you microwave a butter-drenched brownie.

Movie quotes that matter

"Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things."
Andy, The Shawshank Redemption

The little commies

The Family Research Council is boycotting Girl Scout cookies because GSA accepts transgender members.

I'm glad FRC spoke out. Little boys in smocks apparently will ruin Western civilization as we know it.

Go buy some cookies, people.

ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS

It's the meme to top all memes, IMO.


This blogger puts words in animals' mouths.

Two recent examples from the site:

I WAS JUST ASKING WHY YOU’RE SO UPSET THAT HE’S SEEING SOMEONE ELSE IF YOU DUMPED HIM. I WAS GENUINELY CURIOUS. I’VE NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND BECAUSE YOU WON’T LET ME OUTSIDE. CAN YOU LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU’RE DONE THROWING THINGS SO I CAN GET TO MY WATER DISH? I’M REALLY THIRSTY.

FUCKING MONDAYS, AM I RIGHT?
DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED. THERE ISN’T ENOUGH COFFEE IN THE WORLD TO HELP ME RIGHT NOW. I WAS UP UNTIL 4AM LOOKING AT INTERIOR DESIGN BLOGS. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. I’M NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO PAINT MY APARTMENT.
THE INTERNET IS THE WORST FOR THAT KIND OF THING. ONE TIME I WENT ON WIKIPEDIA TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE DRUMMER FROM DEF LEPPARD’S NAME AND I ACCIDENTALLY GOT A DEGREE IN NEUROBIOLOGY.
TELL ME ABOUT IT. I WAS TRYING TO DOWNLOAD SEABISCUIT AND NOW I’M AN ORDAINED MINISTER.

Oscar nominations

I mostly pay attention to the Academy Awards when one of my epic crushes (Meryl Streep. Jodie Foster, Diane Lane, etc.) is nominated.

Streep is up for an Oscar. As usual, the character she plays (Margaret Thatcher this time) could kick your ass six ways to Sunday.

Minions, I. am. back.