You say tomato, I say mater

As I scootered through a Revco in my mid-sized Southern city (though my New-York-City-raised friend swears that any city smaller than Singapore is essentially Hooterville), a stock clerk in late middle age rapid-fire drawled (yes, that is possible!) at me, "May ah hep yew?" (American Standard English: May I help you?")

The clerk's "I" was flatter even than what I've heard come out of my own piehole. I, still attuned to Colorado accents, reflexively thought, "Sweet Lord. Where is she from?" Then I (AHHH)--the girl who used-to-could sometimes pinpoint within a three-county radius where you were from in Tennessee based on your accent--realized, "she's from here." Or more specifically, either Lawrence, Giles or Maury County, I'm guessing.