Today, Carrie Underwood RULES MY WORLD

Country diva Carrie Underwood comes out for gay marriage. Hell, yeah. I would have loved her forever for this song alone, a balls-to-the-wall, primitive-in-a-positive-way, classic revenge anthem. This is commercial country at its best.

AT THIS VERY MOMENT, drag queens all over the greater Southeast are prepping their Underwood ensembles.

"Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleached-blond tramp and she's probably getting frisky... right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little ...drink 'cause she can't shoot whiskey...